Day 28: Refresh Revisited …Relieved! & Day 29: The Nightmare on Belm Street!

The meat between the bread. (Sunday 13 February)

It’s around 7pm on a Sunday night when I decide to take my shower.  It’s important I don’t shower too early …I’m doing this to save valuable time in the morning after all.  Get clean TOO early, and there’s enough time to get dirty again, so I reckon 7pm is about right.

Alternatively, if I take a shower too late, I’ll wind up looking like Mr. Majeika in the morning!   I should know …I’ve made that schoolboy-error of going to bed with damp hair far too often in the past!  (No amount of wax or styling crème will flatten those unruly babies, so the only alternative to rid oneself of the pineapple look is to take another shower!).  Of course, I could remedy this issue by using a hairdryer, but blokes just don’t use them …do they?

So it’s an early shower, with the added procedure of an all over Botanics moisturising sugar scrub, with Grapeseed oil.  The nails have been cut, unruly hairs have been trimmed and the beard has been preened to perfection.  I fear that being totally clean-shaven will give me the look of a twelve year-old boy, so the clippers are set to grade ‘1’ to go as close as I can get, without being totally whisker-free.

I totally break the vanity barrier by also popping on the sunbed earlier in the day.  The next day is going to be an important one, so the last thing I want to be doing is turn up for interview looking like a beetroot-headed bimbo.  But just a few minutes on the sunshine-coffin will give me a bit of colour in the cheeks, and help provide that little bit of added confidence.

I also lay out my suit for the following day, and sample a few shirt-and-tie combos.  In the end, I plum for a simple white shirt with cut-away collar, and a dark purple tie.  The shoes are polished and buffered and I also pick out my pants and socks.  Not any old socks mind …a brand new pair of never-before worn socks!  This is a special occasion!

Finally, the preparation for my big day includes a trip to the shop, where I pick up a few beers.  The one thing I'll need more than anything before tomorrow, is a decent night’s sleep tonight.  If it takes a few beers to help achieve that, so be it – and I sink three Budweiser’s.

So, in the end, it’s a bit like getting ready for a big date.  …Except this is more important than any date I’ve ever had!

Now, before going any further, I feel I must point-out that I don’t think for one second that having a slight suntan would help me land a job.  Nor do I think that giving a pair of socks their virginal outing will help impress the interview panel.  But, this is all about making a fresh start and these symbolic elements are an attempt to help me gain a psychological edge tomorrow.  I know that my choice of tie won’t have any consequence on who the panel will choose for the job, but if it helps me look smart and feel good inside, it might just help me project my best on the outside.

Symbolically, the new suit and the new socks represent a new start, but personal vanity procedures aren’t the only fresh pages I turn today.  I change to a new blade on my razor and pop a new head on my electric toothbrush ...even though there’s still plenty of life in both.  I also change my bedding and on the way to the beer-shop, I stop off at the garage and purchase a blue magic tree air freshener for my car.

Would any of these things help bring me success tomorrow?  Of course not.  But psychologically, they give me peace of mind that I’ve ‘boxed everything off’.  A couple of hours spent researching Children In Need and the BBC are the most important part of the prep.  Reading through the Job Description and preparing examples of previous experiences was another, but as the famous super market saying goes ‘every little helps’.

It is with high hopes that my day of pre-interview preparation will help the following morning run perfectly smooth.  Unfortunately, just a few minutes into my journey, disaster strikes!

Day 28 Refresh Revisited …Relief. (Friday 11 February)

But before moving onto ‘BBC Monday’, I’ll squeeze in a quick update about ‘JD Friday’…

Friday was spent hitting that goddamn F5 button all over again, as I continuously checked for new e-mails and waited for the phone to ring.  I’d previously submitted my first of three parts of work, and was now awaiting that all-important feedback.

Panic had naturally started to set-in and as the day grew older, I became increasingly paranoid about the standard of my work.  I opened up my document and instantly began nit-picking at my copy, fiddling with the odd word here and the odd word there.  The goal was ‘perfection’, but I was concerned about how far away from that I was…

I needn't have worried.

'Mr. Reassurance' himself called me up at about 3pm to tell me that he'd spoken to the Marketing Manager.  Although he’d only had time to skim over my work, RD reported that he was "very impressed"! …GET IN!

To say I was chuffed at this point would be a massive understatement. I was absolutely beaming from ear-to-ear!!  The positive feedback had been well worth the wait and then as we continued chatting, I got some rather surprising news…

Readers of this blog will recall I was talking about Coleen Nolan of “Loose Women” last week.  By pure coincidence, it turns out I’ll be working with a Loose Woman of my own!

RD continued…“We know you’re back in on Monday Jayce, but have you got any plans for the following Monday?” he asked.  “Not as yet…” I replied, “…Unless something comes up job-wise between now and then, I’m free and available”.

RD then went on to explain that Claire Sweeney would be in the office on Monday the 21^st of February and that the Marketing Team wanted me to come in especially to work with her!! …Un-be-lievable!!!

Seriously …I know we’re not talking about Cheryl Cole here …but even so! …me? Unemployed bum, Jason Taylor from Blackburn, working alongside TV personality, actress, singer and presenter Claire bloody Sweeny!!!

The massive irony of all this is, as I’m obviously still ‘on trial’ (and therefore ‘working’ for free), my Monday will be spent in a fancy office block, chatting fashion and enjoying a free lunch in the company of a TV celebrity.  Fast forward 24 hours though …and I’ll be back on Penny Street and in Blackburn Job Centre, swapping germs whilst I ‘sign-on’ with my fellow job seekers!!  …it’s a strange old world isn’t it?

So in summary, although the JD Williams post is still far from being 'in the bag', it seems I’ve passed the first hurdle and my first assignment has now turned into a second!  I can’t wait!

Day 29: The Nightmare on Belm Street! (Monday 14 February)

If you’re an 80’s kid like me, you’ll remember Lucky Charms!  This awesome breakfast cereal was introduced to the UK in the late eighties, but subsequently discontinued.  The breakfast snack is basically a sweetened-up version of ‘Cheerio’s’, but with the added bonus of multi-coloured marshmallows!  (Without delving too deeply into the history, I guess they were pulled from the UK market due to their high sugar content!)

Due to my early start this morning, Lindsay and I swapped Valentines gifts last night.  I got her a microwaveable fluffy sheep hot-water-bottle, and Lindsay got me the Ugly Betty Series One box-set, a heart-shaped Krispy-Kreme donut and a pack of Lucky Charms!

They’re only available on import from the USA and can be purchased from Selfridge's, so I don’t think there’s much change from a tenner!  But my word ….they’re delicious!

And as Valentine’s Day coincided with my interview day, the ‘Lucky Charms’ had inadvertently arrived at the perfect time!

Yey! ...Lucky Charms ...
Perfect timing for this particular Valentines gift.

Fellow 80’s kids will also remember calling people a ‘belmer’, or shouting out ‘belm!’ when somebody did something stupid.  You’d stick your tongue under your bottom lip, shout ‘belm’ and then pull a funny face.

When you get older, you realise who it was you were actually trying to impersonate, so I’m quite embarrassed to admit I often used to shout ‘belm’ as a child.

For this reason, I had to think long and hard before naming today’s blog “The Nightmare on Belm Street!”.  But, the combination of ‘belm’ idiocy from me and the ‘Nightmare’ potential was just too good an opportunity to miss in the story I’m about to tell…

After all that preparation, planning and research yesterday, I felt cool, calm and collected this morning.  I arrived at the train station in good time and although the train was a couple of minutes late, I was confident I’d make my connecting train to Manchester at Bolton and still have a good hour to spare before my interview.

I popped in my earphones and dug out my notes.  Even the sun started to shine through the train windows and all in all, I felt ‘ready’ to take on this beautiful Monday.  And then came my ‘belm’ moment of the highest order, which had the potential turn into a complete nightmare.

I reached into my pocket to get my train-fare ready …………but there was no wallet!!!!  I frantically searched my suit-pocket, my jacket-pocket and my brief-case.  But I knew exactly where I’d left it …right under my box of bloody Lucky Charms back at home!!!

With just under £4 in change, no wallet, no cash, no cards and no I.D, I was right up the shit-creek without a paddle!  It was still before 9:30, but too late to get the next train back to Darwen, drive home and start all over again!

My first instinct was to call Lindsay and my Mum.  Maybe they could buy me an e-ticket for a train in the near future, even though I was actually travelling on one in the past!  Before I knew it, I was at Bolton and had ‘escaped’ the conductor.  I few frantic phone calls on the platform were made with inconclusive results …and then my connecting train to Manchester arrived and I couldn’t hang around any longer.  How could I have been such an idiot!

I scanned the platform looking for the conductor and explained my predicament.  Having asked where I was going, he told me to “jump on at the front of the train …you won’t see me again and no-one will ever know”.   Semi-relief then as I knew I’d be making it to Manchester in time for my interview at 11 …but how would I get through the ticket barriers at the other end …and how would I get home?

In the end, having explained the same story to a couple of staff at the Oxford Road end of the line, I was sent through the barrier to the ticket desk where a number of options for my return journey were explained.  I was then sent on my way with a smile and no charge.  But carrying the small burden of embarassment!  If this was a sign of what was to come, I was in for a tough day!

With just about enough cash to buy a latte, I parked myself in Starbucks for 45 minutes and made a few more preparation notes before heading off to the final scene of today’s adventure!

Storm in a teacup:  A moment of calm as I made my notes after a a dramatic train journey! 

New Broadcasting House: Soon to be 'old' Broadcasting House
when the BBC relocates to MediaCity in May.

Overall, the interview went ‘fairly well’ and if I was scoring my own match-performance in the Sunday newspaper, I’d probably give myself a 7 out of 10. 

It wasn’t my best ever interview and it definitely wasn’t the easiest I’ve ever had …but it certainly wasn’t my worst performance either.  There were some pretty difficult questions in there and each one of them had to be answered with a very specific and accurate example.  The panel explained at the beginning of the interview that it would be better to give an in-depth answer about one scenario, rather than ‘gloss over’ several different examples.

Each ‘question’ had about four questions within it, so it was important I gave an example explaining the background to the situation, what I did, why I did it and how I achieved the final result.  About seventy minutes later, the process was complete and I was back on the street wondering how the hell I’d get back home!

Before all that though, I took the 15 minute walk to JD Williams, where I spent an hour in a meeting with the Marketing Team, to go through my first draft of work in more depth.  Again, the feedback was positive and very encouraging, with just a few amendments, suggestions and ‘tweaks’ for me to work on and think about.

We spoke in more detail about Claire Sweeney’s visit next week, what it would entail and what my involvement would be.  (In a nutshell, Ms. Sweeney will be promoting and endorsing her own range in the next edition of the catalogue and her visit next week will involve meetings with buyers to pick out items for her line.0 

Ms. Sweeney is apparently very fashion-savvy already and as a yo-yo dieter, is known as a figure that ‘real women’ can naturally relate with.  It’s also quite a coup to have a celebrity associate herself with a ‘plus-size’ brand, so the team are really excited to be working with her.

It will be my job to sit in on the meetings, observing Claire's conversations with the buyers and collecting her quotes for my next assignment!  As you can imagine, I’m quite pleased with that ‘task’ and really looking forward to the experience.

After the meeting had finished, I called up my mate Jonny to see if I could borrow a tenner off him!  (Haven’t even started working there yet and already I’m calling in favours!!).  Unfortunately, Jonny was locked in his own purchasing meetings all afternoon, so I decided to chance it and made my way down to Victoria to see if I could try and blag my way home!

After several more conversations with some very helpful station guards and a super-friendly conductor, I made my homeward-bound leg of the journey without any further drama …and absolutely free-of-charge!

So all's well that end's well in the end and the world is once again a wonderful place.  ...The adventure continues!

Many blessings,

Jason