Day 19: Born to do it

I’ve always found it a little cringe-worthy when an athlete starts thanking God after a victory.  Typically, having slapped an opponent about for 12 rounds, an American Boxer might sit ring-side and will then thank God for blessing him with the courage to step in to the ring.  …I’m not so sure about that.

Whilst I hugely respect the boxer for dedicating his entire lifestyle to his chosen profession, my instinct tells me that the bloke was just ‘lucky’ to be born with the right physical attributes, (and a face that doesn’t break under the force of a couple of blows!).  It would be wrong of me to assume that the boxer started his fledgling career by beating up a few people and ‘accidentally’ discovered he was a decent fighter.  Alternatively, we might be led to believe that the fighter grew up in a rough ‘n’ tough neighbourhood and turned to boxing as an outlet “to get off the streets”.  Either way, I can’t really get my head around the idea that the latest WBA Heavyweight Champion of the World has reached the height of his career because he has been blessed by God.

In the case of a record-breaking sprinter, my opinion shifts slightly, but I still feel awkward when watching said athlete thank the good lord above for the talent he’s been blessed with.  Sure …to run 100 metres in 9.58 seconds is indeed a superhuman achievement; No amount of training or technique-tweaking can compete with the talent that someone like Usain Bolt has quite clearly been born with.  But despite this, I often feel it comes across a bit self-indulgent (and slightly smug) when an athlete thanks God following victory.

Maybe I’m just not used to being around the projection of faith?  I’m a white kid, a football fan and a believer in God - but a non-practicing Christian.  The comments I referred to above are merely generalisations, but they do tend to come from American sports stars in arenas such as boxing and athletics.  As a football fan, I can’t recall too many English footballers thanking God after scoring a last-minute winner or having saved a penalty at Wembley.

Unlike many of my mates, I’m a bit of a one-sport man and don’t really bother with the cricket or the darts.  But again, I’m sure they would tell me that the likes of Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor rarely acknowledge the part God has played in their arrow-throwing expertise.  Indeed, across the landscape of British sport in general, I can only recall the likes of Prince Naseem Ahmed and Amir Khan thanking God.  As practicing Muslims though, faith would have always been a huge part of their lives, no matter what their profession or level of success.

It was with interest then that I watched Manchester United’s Javier Hernández, as he prepared for his FA Cup tie at Southampton on Saturday evening.  Just before kick-off, the Mexican knelt on the half-way line, clasped his hands together and said a prayer in front of 29,000 spectators.  Surprisingly, instead of my rather uneducated reaction of “look at that bloody drama queen”, I instead started to question my opinions of the past.

Sure, it was a very South American thing of Hernández to do, but the lad obviously had a spiritual upbringing and is very thankful for his blessings.  In that case, why should he be judged me, or anyone else, for animating his faith in public?

Without doubt, the footballer will be working hard on a daily basis, continuously honing his talents and perfecting his skills.  He’ll consecrate his body to the cause, keeping himself in peak physical condition.  His career-choice will dictate what he is allowed to eat, drink and enjoy in his spare-time throughout the next 20-odd years.  On top of the commitment required in order to make it to the top, he’s also moved half-way across the world in order to pursue his dream. 

Any success Hernández achieves is as a result of dedication, devotion and practice, practice, practice.  Yet none of it would have been possible without a talent he was born with. 

Having thought about it, the guy was kneeling down and praying to God because he realises how fortunate he is to have such an amazing job.  A career that over the span of just 20 years, will set him up financially for the rest of his life.  The job that will not only allow him to enjoy all the material pleasures he could ever wish for, but most importantly, the security to look after his family.

Whether this ability has been passed onto him via a fortunate collaboration of gifted genes, or by the grace of God is up to each of us to debate and decide upon.  But what has all of this got to do with me and my search for work?

Well …given the position I find myself in once again, I know for sure that if I’d been born with a God-given talent, I would certainly be very thankful to the man upstairs for dealing me a kind hand.  I love football and as I grew up, I had aspirations to be a footballer one day like most kids.  I wasn’t a bad player, but a shattered meniscus, torn ligaments and three separate dislocations to the same knee tell you that physically, I wasn’t quite built for the beautiful game!  Basically, I’m a skinny runt and even with all the practice in the world, I’d never had made it anywhere near pro-level. 

Second biggest pipe-dream for most kids? …To be a pop-star of course!  Although I can dance a bit ( …and despite the boy-band-wannabe haircuts of my ‘yoof’), I couldn’t possibly hold a tune if my life depended on it!  So with a lack of the basic skill required, that idea was promptly put to bed!

But it’s not all about being born in a posh post-code where Mother and Father can afford to put you through drama school.  Noel Gallagher was a self-taught musician from a council estate and is perfect proof that dedication, devotion and practice, practice, practice can make you into a Rock ‘N’ Roll Star!  I’m a huge fan of Oasis, and although Noel might not be the world’s most amazing lyricist -he was once again, clearly blessed with a talent that most of us do not possess.

I now find myself searching for the holy grail of a secure career with success and longevity.  I guess I could have picked up the guitar as a kid, learned how to play the drums or gone to dance classes.  I could have taken up the trampoline, become an expert fire-eater, or practiced my days away to at a sport more suited to skinny kids.  But I didn’t.

Unfortunately, it appears I haven’t been blessed with an extraordinary talent at birth.  (If I was, it’s taken me 30 years and I still haven’t discovered it!!).    Regretfully, I didn’t take up an instrument, pursue a peculiar sport or have the confidence to join an 80’s version of Glee Club.  But I can’t sit here feeling sorry for myself…after all, you’ve got to work with what you’ve got.

In light of that, I have spent some time thinking about my ‘natural strengths’.  I might not be the biggest, bestest, fastest or strongest in the world, but there are things that I have learned to be good at over the years.  It’s now hugely important and imperative for me to hone in on those skills and match them to a career-path that will provide me with fulfilment, enjoyment and success.  For example, I feel my communication skills are strong, both verbally and in writing, so it would make sense to be in a job where I can utilise these?  Surely, by finding the right mix of ingredients and applying them to the right profession, it will have the knock-on effect of career longevity and job security?

As a result of the kind comments, humbling feedback and positive words I’ve received in response to this very blog, you guys have given me the encouragement and bravery to apply for a degree in Journalism – something I wanted to do as a 12 year old.  Thanks to your support, I have today completed and submitted my UCAS application form and when the form is received by the University, it’s up to the Course Leader to decide if I have the skills required.

Of course, even if I’m accepted and successfully complete the course, I’m more than aware that there are no guarantees of a job at the end of it.  But in the long term, if I don’t try to make the best of what I’ve got, and the skills I’ve managed to accrue over the years, I’m afraid I’ll keep winding up right back where I am now.

If you believe in God and that he created the world, then it must be true that ‘being a natural’ at something, is just another term for having a God-given talent.  If that is true, then whatever happens in my work-life is surely meant to be and with the best use of the bits and pieces I was blessed with, my destiny will hopefully look after itself. 

Thanks for reading once again.  Until next time, be well.

Jason

Day 18: One step forward, two steps back

This is the first blog I’ve written whilst in a slightly inebriated state, so I apologise now for any spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and any general drunken ramblings that may follow.  It’s been a long and difficult week and I don’t feel at all guilty for spending the last few hours in the bath feeling sorry for myself, with only Peroni and his Nastro Azzuro brothers as company.

Anybody reading who’s had an arduous, protracted or stressful week at work may already be thinking to themselves “A hard week? …get real sunshine” :But please allow me to explain.

I’ll be the very first to admit that I haven’t been up and out of bed at 6:45 every morning this week like most of the people in the country, nor have I sat in rush-hour traffic as school kids flick V’s at me from the back of double-decker's.  I haven’t had to crunch numbers, put up with the office bore or have a temperamental boss breathing down my neck, pushing me to meet deadlines.  Physical exertion, shift-work and the pressure to meet expectations have not been part of my ‘working’ week.  But Lord, how I miss it.

The emotional roller coaster of being out of work exhausts you mentally in ways that are incomparable to the ‘regular’ trials and tribulations of ‘regular’ life.  It’s hard.  It sucks. And I hate every minute of it. All of this can be exemplified in the time-span of just 30 short minutes today, where an out-of-the-blue victory was immediately succeeded by a morale-obliterating defeat.

Before I go any further, I feel a real need to express the magnitude of guilt that has troubled me throughout this week.  In the life of an eternal job-jump-jockey like myself, it’s been a fairly self-indulgent five days, considering I'm a bloke who currently finds himself out of work.

·    On Monday, I bought a brand new laptop, spunking a huge amount of my crisis cash.  Guilt Factor: 10

·    On Tuesday, whilst awaiting the arrival of my hardware, I spent a couple of hours getting sweaty during a work-out, when perhaps I should have been searching for jobs?  Guilt Factor: 4

·    On Tuesday and Wednesday, I spent the best part of twenty hours reconfiguring my iTunes, when perhaps I should have been searching for jobs?  Guilt Factor: 8

·    On Thursday, I spent an hour at Turf Moor, meeting the new Burnley Manager, when perhaps I could have been searching for work?  Guilt Factor: 5

·    Throughout the week, I’ve also watched half-a-dozen episodes from my ‘Friends’ boxed-set.  (I especially like the episodes that contain the occasional expletive; it makes me feel like I’m getting one up on the regular Sunday afternoon T4 crowd!).  Whilst giggling at Joey’s sandwich fetishes and enjoying the sight of Rachel's ever-impressive beauty, I perhaps should have been searching for jobs? Guilt Factor: 5

·    Today, I drove all the way to Garstang to visit my grandparents.  I was treated to a full English breakfast whilst enjoying the love of my family in cosy surroundings and didn’t even switch my computer on all day long. Guilt Factor: 2

It’s hugely important to try and put all my day-to-day experiences, feelings and emotions into context at this time.  However, two tiny pips within a half-hour segment of today pretty much summed-up the fruits of my last four week’s labour.  It was a case of one step forward and two steps back, in its simplest form.

I’ve learned over recent years that there’s usually a pattern in job application appraising etiquette.  If you’ve been successful in an interview, you tend to get a phone call.  Likewise, if you’ve been selected for interview, you also tend to get a phone call.  Bad news usually comes in the form of writing or even more so - it doesn't arrive at all.  Today, I tasted the sweet and bitter sides from the same source.

Followers of this blog may recall that I signed-up to the BBC website last week, with high hopes of landing a job at the new Media City in Manchester.  I applied for an entry-level support-staff job and completed the relevant online application forms.  Given that it’s been my most inactive week so far, imagine my joy when I received an e-mail today from BBC North.  It read that I’d been successful in the first stage of my application process and that they would like to consider me for an Administration role.  It’s not the most glamorous job-title of I appreciate - but it’s in a sector that I have a huge interest in.  This news only represented baby-steps though, as I was then invited to complete a series of online tests to help verify my suitability for the roles. 

(NB: I began these four online tests at around 5:30 this evening and they weren't complete until almost two and half hours later - hence the reason for the slightly later blog publication this evening!).

Within 20 minutes, I was picking up tonight’s tea in th’Asda (you know, the one near th’Argos and th’Ice Arena?) and I checked my phone once again.  Imagine my delight when I received a second e-mail with the address name.name@bowkerbmw.com in the ‘From’ field.  For whatever reason, supermarket Wi-Fi might not be the most sophisticated, and the content of the e-mail was reluctant to load up.

I danced around the aisles holding my phone aloft, dangling it over the cooked meats counter and directing it toward the dairy produce cooler, urging it to kick-in.  After what seemed like an eternity, the words appeared.

“Thank you for your recent application, blah, blah, blah”.  …Then those words that sink your heart in the space of a micro-second …”Unfortunately on this occasion, your application has been unsuccessful”.

Rejection.  Again.  “But it’s just ONE job” you tell yourself.  “If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be”.  Fair enough.

But it represents so much more than that; I really quite fancied this job and felt it was well within my grasp.  The job description and sector genuinely excited me and I had high hopes that my skills and previous experience would at least secure me an interview.  I even went to the additional length of hand-delivering my application in person, in order to create some kind of 'extra-special' first impression.  Now I just feel a bit of a knob.

Rather stupidly on my part, I’d created a mental picture of already being a few steps up the ladder towards landing this job, purely because I felt my skills were matched the requirements advertised.  But by climbing up a ladder that I had no right to be on, I’ve now had a painful fall back down to the bottom.

The problem now, is that as soon as I saw those words, self-doubt began to creep in like never before.  How can you possibly go about with a smile on your face, keep ploughing on through the job applications and ‘talk yourself up’, when you can’t even manage to get an interview for a job you’re clearly capable of doing? 

Albeit on paper, you lay yourself out bare and profess how keen you are to do the job and be a representative of the company.  A person you’ve never even met, nor are you likely to, simply skims over your history and makes an instant decision without ever meeting the real person behind the words.  It’s soul-destroying and the fact that I’ve been here so many times before doesn’t make it any easier.

In fact, it’s an instant reminder of how long these processes take and how many more of these sinking feelings I’m likely to experience over the coming weeks (or even months :-( ).

And all this is without even making it anywhere near a boardroom!

On Tuesday, I ‘signed-on’ and I have previously been critical of the Job Centre Plus service. But I must hold my hands up and thank them for their efforts this week.  Following a meeting with a ‘Job-Match Consultant’, I’ve received three phone calls regarding positions that might be "right up my street" (although two of the calls were regarding the same job).  I registered my interest for both vacancies with the agencies involved, so I must say at this point, fair play to the Job Centre staff for that.

But I go back to the lowly feeling of desperation you feel whilst you sit waiting on the green sofa’s of the Job Centre to see your advisor.  I have no social standing or right of any special treatment over anyone else in that place, nor do I expect it.  But you can’t help but feel at your lowest ebb whilst in that place.  I don’t wish to appear rude, harsh, or judgemental, but the gentleman I sat next to in the waiting area on Tuesday really did smell.

I’m not saying that he ‘stunk’, or he ‘absolutely hummed’.  I’m not suggesting that he was a ‘dole-dosser’ or a ‘benefit-scrounger’ either.  But it was half past nine in the morning and he had the essence of stale body odour.  At that time, I’m guessing that he hadn’t had a long day or that he'd arrived straight from a work-out.  Instead, it’s my ball-park guess that he probably didn’t have a shower before he put his jim-jam’s on the night before and that he got up at the last minute for his appointment that morning.  He probably didn’t have a shower again and put on yesterday’s clothes before hot-footing it down to the job centre.

Again, I’m not suggesting for one single moment that I am any ‘better’ than this gentleman.  Indeed, I was there for the very same reason that he was.

But what I will reiterate is, that being in these places really does bring you down to your lowest possible level.  Your feel sheepish and slightly embarrassed to be there.  You feel ashamed in case anyone you know drives by as you enter and leave the building.  You speak to Advisers who, with the best will in the world would love to help, but have hundreds of others like you to see that very week.

Your confidence is battered.  Your self-esteem reaches and all-time low and you wonder how long it will be before you can stand up again and feel proud to be a man.

And then, however many weeks later it might be, you manage to somehow land that golden interview for the headline job you’d absolutely give your right bollock to land.

How on earth are you supposed to stand up tall, feel a million dollars in your sharpest suit and confidently stride into an interview when you’ve had so much damage done to your self-confidence?

This 'rant' is all about the outcome of one job application.  Just one.  But this is the reality of your work-life coming to a sudden and abrupt end.  Being told that 'the end is nigh' is the easy bit.  Leaving your desk and work colleagues behind for the last time is a walk in the park.  ...But being told time after time that “on this occasion, your application has not been successful” is when the bull mastiff really comes up and bites you firmly on the arse.  And it hurts.

I’m off for another Peroni.  Enjoy your hard-earned drinks too.

Bless you all,

Jason

Day 17: We could be heroes

I’ve just finished reading ‘The Beast’ - the story of Burnley’s cult goalkeeping hero Brian Jensen.  It made really interesting reading to get an insight into the day-to-day life of a ‘real’ footballer - a job that millions of young boys across the world dream about.  Despite our perceptions of all the money involved in the modern-day game, the book proved that even footballers experience the same personal insecurities and financial worries that us ‘normal’ people do.  It’s also refreshing to learn that there are still honest, hard-working blokes who genuinely care about the game and that no matter what your profession is, you always have to give it your best, 100% of the time in order to achieve success.  Yet ...as we all know too well, you can never quite give your best unless you're truly happy.

I always have a book ‘on the go’, but I'm a tad embarrassed to admit that they're very rarely novels! I really enjoy autobiographies, mostly for the inspiration they provide more than anything else.  With Christmas just behind us, I now have a number of books to choose from including Lord Sugar’s memoirs - but Chris Evans’ second autobiography is leading the pack.

Whilst inspiration is just what I need at the moment, I’m actually beginning to wonder if starting a book right now is actually a wise idea…

People talk about their ‘heroes’ all the time and like many others, I list the likes of David Beckham and Liam Gallagher amongst mine.  However, when searching for personal inspiration, I really couldn’t look any further than Chris Evans …the life of whom I would love to mirror.

I read Evans’ first book “It’s Not What You Think” whilst on holiday last year.  It tells the story of how the council estate lad made good, coming from very humble beginnings to become an icon of his generation .  Having lost his Dad at a young age, Chris started working at 13 years old and managed to hold down 20 different jobs by the time he'd left school.

His entrepreneurial spirit was borne out of learning the value of the pound at a young age and he wasn’t afraid to work his ginger balls off in order to achieve his goals.  I loved reading the tales of how he used to graft through hour upon hour of the most boring jobs in the world, with the radio as his only companion.  The time when his grumpy boss confiscated his radio off him for no apparent reason, despite his meticulous work and commitment to his early-morning role, really struck a note with me.

I had no trouble picturing him sat in his bedroom as a teenager, as he tuned into Timmy Mallet on Manchester’s Piccadilly radio.  As a teenager myself, I always preferred the wireless over TV and spent hours listening to the radio and creating mix-tapes.  I even had a little side-line business of my own at high school, selling tape recordings of CD’s on to my mates.  I’d buy a 5-pack of TDK’s every time I bought a new CD and almost made enough money off the recordings of it to purchase the next album for my collection.

As Chris developed a passion for radio, he almost hunted down Timmy Mallet in an attempt to get some work experience.  Finally, after doing every job in the radio station from taking phone calls to making the brews, he landed the overnight ‘grave-yard’ shift and slowly but surely, had a show of his own.  The rest as they say, is history.

The 90’s was an amazing decade and I feel privileged to have grown up during those halcyon days of Britpop, The Big Breakfast and TFI Friday.  I had an amazing soundtrack playing backdrop to my high school and college days, my first job, my first England game, my first nights out and my first love.  Chris Evans was one of the lead characters of the ‘Cool Britannia’ era and became the most widely acclaimed broadcaster of his generation.

Of course, he went on to have high-profile relationships with some beautiful women, rise all the way to the top, almost lose everything again and then become a multi-millionaire through his acquisition and sale of Virgin Radio.  But it’s Chris Evans’ early days that bring about the focal point of my blog today.

One of my dream jobs was to become a radio DJ and in particular, I’d love to present a ‘late-night love-in’ slot, playing slushy songs and laid-back classics, whilst playing cupid over the airwaves.  However, as much as I’ve been complimented for my DJ’ing over the years, I’ve also been criticized for my mumbling, so I’m not entirely sure if my deep, northern mutterings would have provided the right kind of tone for radio waves in the end. 

Closer to home, I can look to former Rock FM DJ Adam Catterall as inspiration.  The Blackburn lad is actually a couple of years my junior, and like me, started off DJ’ing in pubs and clubs around his home town.  …But didn’t he do well?  An award winning and acclaimed breakfast show DJ, who went on to land many coveted roles and is now the voice of Foxy Bingo and ITV2.  The only way is up for this fella and it just goes to show where hard work, determination and a great personality can get you.

Perhaps it’s already too late for me to follow my dream into broadcasting, but with the right qualifications, a whole lot of hard work and a little bit of luck, maybe I’ll one day be known as a local guy who came good too?

On the job-search front, I’ve actually started to feel uncomfortably anxious and a little sick over recent days.  The heart skips a beat when the phone starts to ring and I’m conscious that the passing weeks are about to turn into a month.  As always, I’ve been working hard and spent a couple of hours yesterday perfecting my CV. 

A few tweaks here and there were required to justify my words with work-related examples and I thought a change of font, colour and layout might just help change my luck.

Diana Vickers: An unlikely good luck charm?

I also took the brave step of hand-delivering a CV and cover letter for the vacancy at Bowker Mini today.  I’d already e-mailed my CV over to them last week but as I hadn’t heard anything, I thought it wouldn’t do any harm if I combed my hair, threw on some smart threads and popped down to show my face.

As it transpired, the gentleman at Bowker recognised me as soon as I walked through the door.  Back in November, he was the driver of Diana Vickers’ BMW when she came to switch on the Christmas lights in Blackburn town centre.  During the night, I happened to be responsible for looking after Diana and the other acts on behalf of the council, so we had a little chat about cars (and stars!) on the night.  He was a really nice guy and the chance meeting we’d had a few weeks previously provided common ground to have a chat again today.  ...I’m not sure if semi-knowing someone ever helps in these circumstances ...but I was pleased to learn that although interviews have been taking place, the position has yet to be filled.

Finally, I can’t end today’s blog without serving my egg sunny side up!  Yes, being unemployed sucks and yes, I’d love to have a job right now.  But it isn’t all bad you know!

Being a jobless wonderpants this afternoon allowed me the opportunity to attend a meet-and greet with the new Burnley Manager this afternoon.  I congratulated him on his appointment and of course, it would’ve been rude not to ask whilst I was there: “Got any jobs going mate?”!

"Sign him up"! with new Burnley F.C. Manager Eddie Howe

Thanks for reading and God bless you all,

Jason

Day 15 & 16: The lost blogs

I usually begin transposing my blog late in the afternoon after a long day of job hunting and tend to complete it anywhere between 6pm and 9pm.  However, I sit here at the breakfast table drinking my breakfast brew and lo and behold, it is actually breakfast time!  …And this is all after just 4 hours sleep!

I’ve obviously got some catching up to do but first of all, let me explain my absence.

From 11am on Day 15 right through until 5pm on Day 16, I suffered from a terrible condition that has become increasingly difficult for the modern-day- man to cope with.  Cut adrift from the world as we know it, it was akin to losing an arm as I found myself enduring the agonising pain of being ‘laptop-less’!!

Whilst checking into rehab for this difficult period, I was teased by the knowledge that my trusted machine was spending time behind my back flirting with ‘I.T. Paul’.  To make matters even worse, the laptop was cajoling side-by-side with my brand spanking new machine!  In the real world, I had two laptops …but in my murky world of cold turkey, I had none!

In summary, (and without getting too technical) my ‘old’ laptop is about 4 years old and with just 80gb of memory and a Centrino processor, it was struggling with the demands of coping with my ever-increasing iTunes library, as well as the rigours of day-to-day life.  (NB: I’m extremely proud and hugely protective of my iTunes library, and we’ll come back to this shortly.)

Now, for a man in my position, it may seem a little unwise to go out and purchase a new laptop, when I have no idea where my next wage will come from.  However, as the old saying goes, you need to speculate to accumulate and as I was still operating on Windows XP, I thought it was time I got up-to-speed with Windows 7, Office 2010 and an i5 processor.  Many of the national recruitment websites I’ve been signing up to also allow you the opportunity to upload a Video CV nowadays, and without a webcam, I have been unable to do this.

Right now, I need fast, reliable and up-to-the-minute I.T tools to help dig myself out of this unemployment mineshaft.  My main fear was that I might put too much pressure on my machine and be without the means to find a way to fight my way out.

My other concern was the computer crashing and losing my sacred iTunes files, so I popped up to I.T. Paul’s to get advice on how to avoid this, and to tap into his wisdom for advice on the best laptop to buy.  He lives just around the corner from me and over the years has done everything from restore machines to connect our wireless router.  I.T Paul has been an invaluable contact and I couldn’t recommend him highly enough.

I wanted the reassurance that everything would be transferred and backed up onto my new machine, before I wiped the data on my old machine.  As far as iTunes was concerned, this meant backing everything up from my old machine onto DVD's, and transferring them onto my new machine; all very pain-staking and time-consuming stuff …and the reason my blog wasn’t published on Day 15.

The omission of Day 16’s blog was a slightly different issue and although a symptomatic of the above, I must accept culpability.  I collected my machines at tea-time, and being a bloke, it was my prerogative to have a good play with my new toy!  Several hours later … having tinkled all the bells and blown all the whistles, I sat down to do last night’s blog ...but then I fell into the iTunes Trap …

One of the first things that anyone close to me would tell you, is that I’m extremely tidy and well organised.  There tends to be structure in everything I do and everything I own has a home.  All my shirts, jackets, tee's and sportswear have their own compartments and each garment has an exact order in my wardrobe.  Jeans and knitwear are folded, dozens of ties are wrapped and stored in the same shape and even my white and black socks are separated into their own compartments.



Military Precision ..or just a bit of a saddo?



I don’t know what the exact symptoms of OCD are, but my family are pretty sure I’ve got it;  Without looking into it too deep psychologically, I grew up on a council estate and was raised by a single Mum and whilst it might all sound very cliché, we really didn’t have much.  My Mum always taught to me put my toys away when I’d finished with them and from a young age, I learned the value of things.  I always loved collecting stuff and hoarded everything from Matchbox cars and football stickers, to the wrappers of 'Club' biscuits!

During my teenage years, the rule was that if I wanted a pair of those 'fancy' Kickers or those expensive football boots, I would need to save up my spending money and paper-round wages and put ‘half-to’.  In turn, this meant that the Kickers and footie boots were regularly polished and well looked after by yours truly.

The lessons learned as I grew up seem to have transferred to adulthood and I still take great care and pride in the things I've worked hard to buy.  I find categorising and compartmentalising things strangely therapeutic and can completely understand why some people think of me  as being a little ‘sad’.  …Some have even referred to it as ‘anal’!

But as this is a blog about finding work, it would be advantageous to sell myself in the best light possible, so it makes total sense to turn this ‘negative’ into a huge positive!  For any prospective employers reading; “I am obviously well organised and pay great attention to set procedures and detail.  I am able to work accurately to SOP's under pressure, whilst maintaining a good standard of work”!!

And this is where the ‘iTunes trap’ and my 4 hours of sleep comes to the fore.

I’d successfully transferred all my songs along with their descriptions, ratings, play counts, playlists and their artwork over to the new laptop.  ...Or so I thought.

What I quickly realised was that there were about 600 album covers missing that I’d painstakingly downloaded over the years.  The error has occurred where an artist has a featuring act, and as I’d written the song titles in the wrong format, iTunes no longer recognised the artist.  For example, I’d always uploaded my music in the format of Column 1:

Column 1 (Wrong way!)	Column 2 (Right way!!!)
Beyoncé - Irreplaceable	Beyoncé - Irreplaceable
Beyoncé Feat. Jay Z - De Ja Vu	Beyoncé - De Ja Vu Feat. Jay Z
Beyoncé Feat. Sean Paul - Baby Boy	Beyoncé - Baby Boy Feat. Sean Paul

By using the format in column one, iTunes believed that I was looking for three different artists …and two of them don’t actually exist!  With a massive collection of R&B and Dance collaborations to edit, I started fiddling with my iTunes library at 6pm last night ...and only quit when I reached the letter ‘K’ at 4pm this morning!

Quite an elaborate explanation of it all I’m sure you’ll agree …but I do hope the absence of my blog over the last 48 hours will be forgiven!

Until next time, many blessings,

Jason

Day 14: New Tricks

They say that every day's a school day and today has been a prime example of this.

I attended the Job Centre last week and the experience wasn't exactly a pleasant one.  Whilst I don't wish to stereotype those who frequent the job centre, there is an unavoidable stigma attached to these places and 'signing-on' isn't the preferred way to spend a day.

As you would expect, the uniform of choice for the infamous species that we've come to know as 'the chav' was in abundance.  And when there's Security Guards knocking around the place, you know they're usually there for a very good reason.  The reality of it all though, is that I am now one of those very persons who must use and utilise the services of Job Centre Plus.

At my first appointment last week, I met with an Advisor and having reviewed my work history, she suggested I attend a course specifically for people who've previously worked in a professional environment.  The course was developed by an agency called Calibre and despite my initial cynicism, I really enjoyed attending today and found it very useful.

'Quality over quantity' is the main lesson I've learned and it's a method I intend to apply when the job search resumes for a fourth week on Monday. 

When looking for work, it's easy to fall into the numbers game, where you begin challenging yourself to apply for 'X' amount of jobs per day.  Human nature dictates that as time progresses, you try to 'beat' the previous total and invariably, this has a negative effect on the quality of your output.

I have definitely been guilty of hitting the panic button over recent days and this has resulted in me applying for jobs that are not suitable, or perhaps out of my reach.  In the end, all this is serving to do, is to increase my chances of rejection.

Over the coming days, I plan to spend much more time seeking out fewer, but good quality positions that are better suited to my skills.  I appreciate that these will be hard to come by, but by having a shorter hit-list, I hope this will allow me additional time to draft bespoke cover letters and much more relevant supporting notes.

I began writing tonight's blog whilst watching an episode of The Simpson's and a little bit of wee nearly came out as Homer tried to run away from his hospital bill!  Unfortunately, this was straight after an operation on an anterior cruciate ligament injury and his leg snapped straight back on itself!  I actually know how that feels but I couldn't stop laughing!

With me, it's the stupid things that make me giggle the most and on that note, I leave you with a huge smile and hope you enjoy your well-earned weekend.


Many blessings,
Jason

Day 13: A day off!

After a grim day of constant job-searching and zero human interaction yesterday, I figured I should treat myself to a ‘day off’ today.

An unwelcome side-effect of my intimate relationship with the computer screen yesterday resulted in some major eyeball fatigue, so I was up and out of the house before 10 this morning.  With friends coming over for supper this Saturday night, the first stop was the supermarket to purchase a liquid pick-and-mix of Corona’s, Peroni’s, Budweiser’s and Bacardi Breezers.  This was actually the first time I’d drawn any cash out for what seems like an eternity, so to hand over such a chunky wad of the mean-green so soon after drawing out was a heartbreaker.

It was then off to the hairdressers for some much-needed bonce surgery and at the capital city of all things gossip - it was very easy to forget the trials of tribulations of being workless.  A liberating insight into the tales of female-evening-time-activity and a cup of coffee later, I was coiffed and good-to-go.

I then followed up this healthy portion of ‘me-time’ with a jog to clear my thoughts, in cold weather that really did take my breath away.  In the space of a couple of hours …I’d actually taken the weight from my mind both metaphorically and literally!

It made a nice change to get out of the house for a while, but I honestly couldn’t wait to get back home so I could check my phone for new e-mails and missed calls.

The good news is that I received some news; the bad news is that there was no good news at all!  One letter of rejection was received via the post, whilst two e-mails informing me that I hadn’t made the next stage of the recruitment process pretty much explained the same.  In all three cases, a lack of experience in the sector concerned was the cited reason.  Nevertheless, this didn’t deter me and if anything, the news spurred me on to keep applying.

Over the years and throughout my career dilemmas, advice from friends has consistently thrown up two professions that I might be good at.  The first is teaching which is definitely on the radar now, with my UCAS application almost complete.

The second piece of advice that tends to crop up is, “You know what Jay, you’d probably make a good salesman”.

A career in sales is one I’ve never really given any serious consideration to.  In fact, although some of my previous roles have had some sales-oriented elements, it’s one of the few environments I haven’t actually worked in! 

Commission-based work carries obvious month-to-month risks, whilst working over weekends, during evenings and through bank holidays isn’t exactly kind to your social diary.  Both these issues also make it tough to plan ahead.

Then there’s also the ‘sleazy salesman’ tags to contend with, and all the connotations that go with it.  How many times have we all felt uncomfortable or pressurised when in the company of a sales person?  Showrooms and stores are one thing, but at least you have time to prepare.  But how about when someone cold calls over the telephone, or even worse, knocks at the door after a long, hard day?  …Do I really want to be that guy that EVERYBODY hates?

But I’ve always said that I’d be more than happy to try and sell an item, as long as I could back up my words by having total faith in the product.  Despite all the negatives listed above, the most successful salespeople can reap some of the highest financial rewards as well as some attractive benefits.

A good salesman would need to be a strong communicator, have excellent customer service skills, be well presented and flexible enough to ‘go that extra mile’.  Above all, the salesman needs to be trustworthy and I know I’m capable of delivering all of these ingredients.

Having thought about this during my run earlier today, I started to look through the websites of local prestige car dealers upon my return.  To my surprise there were a variety of positions locally and despite it being my ‘day off’ from this seemingly never-ending search for a job, I managed to apply for six more vacancies.

My day off was completed with one of my favourite ever ‘old school’ movies; ‘The Long Kiss Goodnight’.  Cue the quote from the coolest dude in the whole wide world:

“I never did one God-damn good thing in my life …that take’s skill”.  Samuel L. Jackson …I might not be a BMF, but I know exactly how you feel.

Many blessings

Jason

Day 12: 'Sunday Syndrome'

My days of going out and getting leathered for most of the weekend are long since gone.  In fact, I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I’ve woken up feeling a little worse-for-wear over the last couple of years.  Although you can’t beat a bit of drunken tomfoolery, I can’t say I miss the traditional ‘Saturday night out on the tiles’ and one thing I certainly enjoy living without is a condition I christened ‘Sunday Syndrome’.

Whilst some people sleep log-like following the consumption of copious amounts of beery fizz-pop, I always wake up really early after a night out.  I guess the dehydration sets it off, but I usually get up at around 8am, even if I haven’t rolled into bed until 3am.  Five hours sleep and a bit of a thick head would leave me feeling very delicate and for the rest of the day, I'd be festering and feeling very sorry for myself, whilst doing as little as possible. 

However, despite not doing a thing all day and having had very little sleep the night before, I would be unable to get to sleep on a Sunday night.

Today’s job-search reminded me very much of those old ‘Sunday Syndrome’ days and it’s been one hell of a long shift.  I woke up just after 8 and haven’t left the house all day.  The saddest part of all this is that I haven’t actually had a single moment of human interaction all day long, which is a pretty desperate situation to be in.

Over the last 24 hours, I’ve compiled a database of ‘The Times 100 Best Employers 2010’ and have begun to visit the websites of each in order to make some more very time consuming applications.

I’ve applied for two jobs with Boots …one as a Team Administrator and one as a Commercial Administrator – both of which are based in Nottingham.  I also applied for 4 positions with the Mott McDonald group which are based in the four corners of the planet – one of which I’ve already been turned down for.  I have also registered my CV the BBC, with a particular interest in the new MediaCityUK which comes to Manchester soon. 

Closer to home I’ve applied for a number of further jobs via agencies, but I also found out the bad news that I haven't been shortlisted for a Project Administrator position I applied for via another agency.  ...At least no-one can say I’m not trying!

Whilst I’ve been researching and applying for jobs today, I’ve had the television turned up a little higher than usual for a bit of ‘company’.  But just 12 days in to this routine, I’m already fed-up of seeing other peoples homes being done up, diet tips, cook-off’s and I'm sick of the sight of the bloody ‘Duke’ David Dickinson!  For heaven’s sake…I even had to endure Louie Spence waxing the hair off five hairy arses this morning!  (Some bum hair removal wax road-test or something?).  Thank the good lord above for sending us his angel Holly Willoughby!

To break up the day, I spent about two hours cleaning the house which I found strangely therapeutic.  A bit of dusting, skirting-board-wiping, sweeping, mopping and hoovering doesn’t sound like much of a rest, but it was just what I needed to get away from the constant application forms and online tests.

Fingers crossed I won’t suffer the traditional nightfall symptoms of ‘Sunday Syndrome’ when I roll into bed tonight and that despite having not left the house all day, tomorrow will bring some rewards for the hard work I’ve put in today.

Many blessings,

Jason

Day 11: The harsh realities

I begin today’s blog whilst sat in a place of relative discomfort.  Of all places, you would expect a car showroom to be quite an alluring and inviting environment.   The kind of atmosphere where the mix of new-car smells, shiny metal and glistening tyres can make a testosterone-fuelled male like myself actually foam at the mouth.  After all, dreams of cruising along cliff-top roads in your drop-top, as the sun sets over the sea can become a reality here.  This is where your hard-earned money can teleport itself from your bank-account in the blink of an eye, or rather, a flick of the wrist.  It’s a dream factory.  All you have to do is sign a document.

Unfortunately, it seems I’ve picked a terrible day to make a visit.  Whilst I type away in the ‘lounge area’ and drink insipid gravy-flavoured coffee, the showroom undergoes a major facelift.  The huge sliding doors are wide open and as such, my toes are already starting to feel the cold.  The fascia of the building is currently sign-less as brand spanking new chrome branding lays in waiting.  Cars are being resituated around the floor-space in front of me to the chorus of an angle-grinder, crunching away against a new metalwork entrance outside.  Otis Redding plays over the PA system, but the slightly out-of-tune radio ruins one of the coolest ever chill-out tunes.

So, have I gone uber mentalist and decided to purchase a new motor to help alleviate the pain of my unemployment desperation?

No.  I’m pleased to report that the aforementioned is not the case and that I’m here simply for an alteration to my motor.  However, this does bring me to the crux of today’s blog.

The financial aspect of losing your job is – and without any doubt – the most worrying issue in the whole of this scenario.  Of course, being without work isn’t much good for your self-confidence, your social life, the planning of your future or indeed, the updating of your wardrobe.  Notwithstanding the damage that being unemployed does to your all-round feeling of self-worth.  However, as we all know, money makes your world go round and without it, you can’t go very far at all.

Back in September 2010, I ended my five-and-a-half year relationship with Mini.  Mini had been faithful, she never let me down and was still gorgeous to look at, despite being with me straight from the production line.  I’d looked after her throughout, shared some great journeys and given her hours of TLC.  I was asked for nothing in return, other than a new exhaust, the odd new tyre and the occasional re-sprayed panel.  Treats of weekly valets were common ground, whilst all the latest gadgets and the finest perfumery were guaranteed.  …Even when cash was short and I’d lost my job(s), we stayed together throughout the tough times.  It was tough to see her go and there were some fond memories, but in the end, I felt it was ‘time to move on’.

You must bear in mind of course, that this was the longest relationship I’d ever had, so you’ll understand my affection for the old girl!

Despite the best advice of my family, I traded Mini in for a new model and as pretty as the young thing is, I now need to be on my toes.   

With the last car, I’d got to the promised land of having paid off the loan and as she was still only five and a half years old, Mini was in great condition.  My school of thought however was that I’d invested a lot of money in to her and I really wanted to ‘cash-in’ whilst she was still at an optimum trade-in level.  This way, I’d get the best of both worlds with a really decent deposit for a new car, peace-of-mind motoring for the next three years and a much shorter repayment schedule than my last commitment.

The alternative to this was of course to ‘sit tight’.  After all, I was perched on a bench which was situated directly under a dark cloud of possible redundancy at the time.  If I lost my job …how would I keep up the repayments?

In the end, I knew I’d need a reliable set of wheels in whatever job scenario I found myself in over the coming years.  I was reluctant to have to ‘start all over again’ with a big fat loan in a few years time and the fact that I’d be buying a car in a tax bracket of just £20 per year seemed to me a sensible move.

Symbolically,  I also wanted to ‘move on’ with my life and think positively for the future.

But now I’m unemployed and my ‘sensible’ decision seems to have been a stupid one.

Time to go?  ...the JayMobiel

In reality, I learned from financial mistakes I made as a youngster and I’ve managed to save up a few grand 'for a rainy day'.  I’ve got enough money to make the car loan repayments and service my other bills for the next three months at least.  Four, if I’m VERY careful.  But the reserves are finite and where will this leave me in the long term?

One of the things I was saving up for is somewhat of a dream trip for me.  Deposits have already been paid for six nights in Las Vegas and five nights in California for September of this year.  The cash I saved before losing my job will pay the holiday off in full, but in order to have the ‘holiday of a lifetime’, I’m going to need to save myself some spends to make the most of it.

I estimate about £100 a month would be a good start, but with no job, I will simply be unable to achieve this, or indeed justify it.

People say it’s a good job I haven’t got a family to support or a mortgage to pay and I genuinely sympathise with all the families who find themselves in such a predicament.  My response to this though is that we all make our choices in life.  I appreciate that I don’t have the burden of a home to run or the huge responsibility of other mouths to feed, but trust me, this is not through choice.

Like any one of us, my hope is to one day have my own home and a wife and children to share it with.  I don’t aspire to be ‘better’ than anyone else by having the best car on the driveway of the best house in the best street.  My inspuration is simply to be the ‘best’ person I can possibly be and right now, I feel so far away from that.

If I hadn’t have lost my job so many times in recent years, I’d feel that I’d have committed to my own home some time ago.  Thank heavens I didn’t because I’d have been in a right pickle now.

The harsh reality of losing my job is that if I don’t find something soon, I may have to cancel my plans for the holiday of a lifetime and I may even have to sell my car.  Of course, I could have prevented these issues even being a problem, but you can’t spend your life not making choices in case they turn out to be the wrong ones.

They say it’s not about how fast you get there; It’s all about the journey.  Quite apt for someone sat in a car showroom.

Until next time, many blessings.

Jason

Footnote:

Thanks to you all for the continued feedback via Facebook.  It means a lot and I’ve really been humbled by your comments.  I know how busy ‘normal’ life can be, so I do appreciate you taking the time to check in.  I’ve really enjoyed reading through your thoughts and ideas which are also helping me with some inspired job searches! :-)